Retaliation
by princessphilomena
Summary: When Klavier plays a bit of a prank on Ema at the movies, she decides to get back at him with a rather jostling ride home. Klavier x Ema


**Author's Notes**

Aha! PrincessPhilomena is back! (At least for the summer)

I have returned from the depths of piles of homework to come and...and....write fanfiction for you?

Or something like that...

Anyways, I know I probably should be working on my other stories...but I felt like writing this! (Ah yes, my rebellious self)

But, a couple of things before we begin:

Ema and Klavier may be OOC. I can't really tell. I finished writing this at 11 last night.

This is not funny. NOT. FUNNY. (Just warning you.) It's not completely my fault - no one's tickled my funny bone lately

Oh, and did I mention the very lame title? Can someone come up with something better, please? I'll owe you forever and ever :)

And lastly, for the fun of it, I'll dedicate this to my little sis **madscientists**, one of the newest newbies here on FF. (Now she'll be mad that I dedicated such a lame story to her...)

I'll stop ranting. For anything else, check my End Notes (where else?) at the end of this story

* * *

**Retaliation**

Ema Skye was not someone you often bumped into at the movies. She dismissed them as pointless and noisy, and with her almost-Gumshoe-level salary, she really couldn't afford to go very often.

But this movie was one she had to see.

_The Adventures of Cyan and Tiff K. N'Vestigatur, Ultimate Forensic Scientists_

In _3D_, no less.

And so, Ema found herself at the movie theatre, excitedly lining up to buy her ticket. When she headed towards the theatre area, she was stopped by the man checking people's tickets.

"Sorry, miss, no outside snacks are allowed."

Ema was, of course, already devouring her mega-sized bag of Snackoos, bought especially for this occasion.

"Would you like a faceful of deoxyribonucleic acid?" Ema glared menacingly.

The guy took a step back. "Oh, umm...no, sorry!" he stammered. "Outside snacks are just fine!"

"That's good to hear," Ema strode past him and into the theatre hall.

_Deoxyri-whatever? Somehow, that sounds familiar..._

"Hey!" he called out to her. "You forgot your 3D glasses!" But she had already disappeared out of sight.

Ema glanced down at her ticket. Theatre Four. She quickly found it and walked inside...only to find it empty.

_Huh? That can't be right. I was sure that this place would be jam-packed. I thought I'd have to stand at the back. They must have made a mistake on my ticket. I bet it's the one across the hall._

She crossed the hall to Theatre Three, not even bothering to look at the poster outside of it. The theatre was quite full.

_Aha! That's more like it!_

Luckily for her, Ema quickly spotted a seat in the middle of a row and made herself comfortable. Glancing around, she noted that the rest of the audience was made up of adults.

_Excellent. No screaming kids._

----------

In the row behind Ema sat a man clothed in black with an abnormally large hat pulled down to cover his face and hair. He glanced around furtively to see if anyone recognized him, but with his intimidating demeanour, no one dared approach him.

_Ach...this hat is making it difficult to see. But I don't want anyone to recognize me._

When he spotted the familiar hair of the girl who sat in front of him, he nearly chuckled aloud.

_Hmm...I didn't expect to see her here, but I guess this means I'll have some fun._

----------

When the trailers began to play, Ema realized that she had forgotten to get her 3D glasses.

_What a scam! I bet that guy sidetracked me on purpose! This theatre's probably too cheap to give out glasses._

She turned to dash outside to grab a pair, when she realized that she was completely trapped between a rather large man who was saying something about "the scent of fresh lemon" and another (or was it a woman?) who was trying to convince Ema that "zis lavender scent" was "zee perfect one" for her.

Yep, she was definitely not going anywhere for the next hour and a half.

Ema sighed as she leaned back, trying to ignore the pink-clad..._person_ beside her.

At last, the lights dimmed completely and the title credits began to roll.

Ema suddenly tensed. _The Night of the Undying Zombies_? That wasn't the movie she came to watch! She stiffened in her seat, petrified. She hadn't seen a horror movie in years! And the last time, Lana was there to shield her eyes every time something jumped out.

_B-but, I'm stuck here! I have to watch it!_

_Wait! Put on your sunglasses and close your eyes! No one will notice!_

_Oh, that's genius! Did I ever mention what a smarty-pants you are?_

So Ema spent the first thirty minutes with her eyes squeezed shut, gripping both of her armrests tightly. The sound effects were already creeping her out. She tried to calm herself down by analyzing the sounds.

_Well, that anguished scream sounded like me staring into my Snackoo-less kitchen cabinet._

_Or maybe it was me hearing the fop's music._

_And that creaking sound was that new guy – Meek Mikeins, was it? – trying to sneak unnoticed into the briefing room fifteen minutes late. Unsuccessfully, of course._

_And that wind on the back of my neck was...wait a second._

Ema's eyes sprang open in terror, and she was met face-first with a terrifying zombie on-screen. She could swear there was a breeze in the room and a weird chill on the back of her neck. She glanced around, paranoid.

Suddenly, a pair of hands grabbed her shoulders from behind.

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Someone save me!!!"

Everyone in the theatre jumped, startled. Even the hands on her shoulders let go in surprise.

"A bit of an overreaction, ja?" whispered the owner of the hands.

Ema whirled around. "Fop! Y-you!!!" She was going to add: "What's with the atrocious hat?", but-

"Shh!" he hushed her instantly, as did numerous other people in the theatre. She flushed a deep red and glared at him with the best _you'll-pay-for-this-later_ look she could muster in her embarrassment. With a huff, she turned back around in her seat.

Thirty seconds barely passed before he leaned forward again to whisper teasingly, "I didn't realize you were so easily scared, Fraulein. I thought that being on the police force would have cured you of that."

Another death glare. He assumed she would have snackoo'd him if she hadn't already polished off the whole bag by the time the trailers were done. Maybe he ought to back off for now. He could tease her afterwards, when he wasn't at risk of being exposed and mobbed by fangirls.

After another agonizing hour and something minutes (for Ema, anyways), the movie finally ended. Klavier, surprisingly, had behaved, though he had been struggling – it was hard to resist poking Ema when she twitched or flinched every few minutes.

Ema got up as soon as possible and tried to push through the narrow row, but not before Klavier grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

"Fraulein Ema, are you going to leave without saying bye to me? You aren't still mad at me, are you?"

"_Mad_ is an understatement, fop." She made that almost childish fed-up pout, and refusing to look at him, continued out into the aisle.

He followed her. "Ach...I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd have such a reaction."

No response.

"Why don't you let me make it up to you?"

Still no response.

"I'll buy you two bags of your snacks...Three? Fine, four."

_Don't fall for it, Ema!_

_But __**four**__ bags! __**FOUR**__!_

"I'll buy you a science kit too."

"Deal!" she cried, making Klavier jump. "Wait..." she narrowed her eyes. "We're talking about _mega-sized_ bags of Snackoos, right?"

Klavier chuckled, surprised. He had heard that the way to a man's heart was through his stomach, but who knew it applied to Ema too?

"Jumbo packs," he assured her. "As long as you're not still mad."

This time, she gave no reply as they had arrived at the exit of the theatre and were met with a huge downpour of rain.

Klavier groaned. "I am in quite the pickle. Quite. The. Pickle."

Ema snickered. "What? You're going to get your glimmer-hair wet?"

"You see, Fraulein, I took the bus here to avoid attracting fans with my motorbike. But the closest bus stop is a kilometre away, and I don't think I can walk in this rain. I can barely see through it."

"You're not very subtle. You just want me to give you a ride, don't you?"

"Ah...astute, as always. That's my Fraulein Detektiv," he smiled and slung an arm around her shoulder. She shoved his arm off.

"Please keep your foppy germs to yourself. Contamination may cause diseases."

She brushed off her shoulder where his hand had been a moment ago. Klavier looked amused.

"Fraulein, you can't deny that you need to dash from here to your car without an umbrella. And I'm sure that not all the scientific contents of your bag are waterproof."

"What's your point?" she asked slowly, suspicious.

"I'll cover us with my jacket, you give me a lift home."

"Well..." Ema mulled this over. She _did_ need to get to her car, and her equipment _would_ get wet otherwise. Besides, she could think of a way to get back at him for that little prank in the theatre.

Klavier had taken Ema's hesitation as a yes and had flung his jacket over the two of them.

"Your car is the green one, ja? I think I see it."

Ema squirmed a little at her sudden proximity with Klavier's face.

"Uh...fop, I need my personal radius."

"My apologies, Fraulein. That's something I can't give you." He winked playfully. "This jacket's only so large."

She must have imagined it, but she could swear he pulled her closer.

"On three. One, two, let's rock!"

_The word is "run." Get your vocab right, fop._

But before Ema would voice this particular opinion, she was pushed forward and found herself dashing like a mad woman (or mad scientist) across the wet parking lot.

_This is crazy! We must look like idiots!_

When they reached the car, Ema unlocked the doors with surprising speed, and the two of them leaped inside and slammed their doors shut. They sat there for a fraction of a moment, catching their breath, and then burst out laughing simultaneously. What was so funny, Ema didn't know (maybe it was the drenched mess they both were), but it felt nice to be a little hysterical for no reason.

At last, she calmed down enough to turn the key in the ignition and back out of the parking space.

As they hit the main road, Klavier leaned over to turn on the car radio, when a sudden bump caused his seat (along with him) to bounce up and whack his head on the car roof.

Ema was hysterical again as Klavier rubbed his head. Snickering, Ema explained that her old, faulty car had springs underneath the passenger seat. Really loose springs, by the looks of it.

Ema couldn't resist turning into an urban neighbourhood street, rather than take the main road. In a moment, Klavier saw exactly why.

Speed bumps. A whole street of speed bumps.

Suddenly, Klavier felt himself being bounced up and down, and the car rattled him so much that he could barely talk. Ema took a sideways glance at him (as she pressed down on the gas as hard as she could) and to her delight, saw his jaws clacking together repeatedly like those of Trucy's Mr. Hat.

The sight cracked her up. She was laughing so hard that she had to stop the car at the end of the street.

Klavier (who had finally stopped flailing like a ragdoll) managed to regain his composure with a smile.

"I take it that my offer to buy you your snacks didn't quite cut it."

"That was golden. I wish I recorded it."

"I guess we're even now." Klavier managed to look surprisingly unshaken, and a ghost of a smirk could be seen on his face.

Ema was laughing too hard to pay attention.

When they arrived at Klavier's place, he turned to her and smiled. "I don't suppose you'll agree to have dinner with me tomorrow night?"

Ema snorted. "Not a chance."

"We'll see about that," he smiled, almost to himself. "But nonetheless, thank you for the ride, Fraulein." Before he ducked outside, he winked and added, "I'll see you in your dreams tonight."

Ema sat there with her mouth open, his last comment having caused her to forget to remind him of what he owed her.

----------

When Ema arrived at work the next day, she found her promised bags of Snackoos and a science kit on her desk. She tore open a bag and had begun munching when she saw the note.

_Fraulein Ema,_

_I do hope you will join me for dinner tonight. After all, since you gave me that rather jostling car ride as payback for the incident at the theatre, you now owe me for four bags of Snackoos and a science kit. Of course, you have the option to refuse, but I am sure that you are already well through your first bag of snacks. I will come and pick you up at 7, then._

_Klavier_

_P.S. I'm sure you will have realized by now that we will be taking my motorbike. With your experiences with rather...feisty vehicles, you should have no problem with that, ja?_

_

* * *

_

**End Notes:**

Ohhh....I can just imagine what all the AA characters have to say to my story...

"The court finds this story....**TOTALLY NOT FUNNY**."

"I object to the lameness of this story."

"Gotcha! Miss Philomena, I perceive that you were rather delusional when you wrote this."

" ' Writer M.I.A. for Three Months, Returns with Massive Fail of a Story' end quote."

-sigh- Oh well. In my original idea, Ema was going to be a little meaner to Klavier. But I just kept writing, and it came out like this. So you might find the story a little inconsistent -.-

For those of you who didn't know/pick up on it, _deoxyribonucleic acid_ is the long way of saying DNA. I suppose that if you're Ema and say it really fast, it'll sound like something lethal :P

And I suppose it'd be more logical if Klavier took a taxi. But the taxi would probably cost more than the movie ticket. Whoever heard of the ride costing more than the movie? That's so lame!

Anyways, all reviewers get a big hug from me. And all readers get...a big hug too :)

I'm just feeling huggy today :P (But reviews of any kind are much loved. Make a girl's day, won't you?)


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